had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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