i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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