He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
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