You're so nebulous sometimes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
