No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
