Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
