awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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