i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
