Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
