I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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