oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
