We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
