you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
