u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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