im having a threesome with these popsicles
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
