If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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