last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
