Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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