She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
