Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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