Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
