im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize