i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i barfeds in our rink
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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