shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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