Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
