He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
