I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
