Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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