Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize