After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
