WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
