I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
