he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
