So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
