Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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(802): View more from Vermont

elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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(512): View more from Texas

On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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(240): View more from Maryland

We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?

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(513): View more from Ohio

She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that

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