Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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