i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
