Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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