you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize