is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
