So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
