Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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