We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
