Is it because I queefed?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
