420 ftw
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
