yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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