That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
