Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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