Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
