how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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