Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize