Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
