Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
