party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
