im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
