We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize