Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
whose parrot is this?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
