You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
