Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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