Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
