HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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